5 Mindfulness Techniques To Overcome Social Anxiety
Today I felt inspired to write about Social Anxiety. a condition that affects millions of people around the world.According to the Australian National Survey of Mental Health and Wellbeing in 2007, anxiety disorders were the most common mental disorders, affecting 14% of all people aged 16-85 years. The survey showed that women were more likely to have experienced anxiety disorders than men (18% and 11% respectively); and anxiety disorders were more common in women aged 16-54 years (21%) compared with older women aged 65-85 years (6.3%).
Why?
Yesterday, I read a blog by the lovely Denise Duffield-Thomas from www.luckybitch.com. In her blog, Denise described what it was like to be an introvert. She went on to describe how the anxiety she felt in large social and business gatherings often left her feeling exhausted, drained and anxious. She then shared some great strategies on how to survive and thrive as an introvert, particularly in business, without beating herself up for being different to some of her more extrovert peers.I REALLY resonated with this post.
Like Denise, many people (especially those close to me) see me as an extrovert. I run a successful business, I’m a good public speaker and around close friends I’m the one that makes everyone laugh. However, what they don’t know is that I hate being in large groups of people. I feel insecure and anxious. I dislike going to parties where there’s lots of noise and people I’m expected to make small talk with. If I can get out of going, I will. Alternatively, I’ll go – but can’t wait for ‘home time’ where I can curl up with a good book and a cup of tea in my own little happy zone.
So, it stands to reason that a large percentage of me is pure introvert. This essentially means, I become energised by ‘alone time’, whereas someone who is typically extrovert gains energy from external sources and those around them.
For an introvert, ‘alone time’ to read, think and enjoy the peaceful surroundings is far more pleasurable than attending a large noisy party with lots of people fighting to be heard over music. For this reason, when attending gatherings as such, social anxiety may prevail.
So, What is social anxiety?
According to the DSM IV, Social anxiety is the fear of interaction with other people that brings on self-consciousness, feelings of being negatively judged and evaluated, and, as a result, leads to avoidance.Being an introvert can predispose you to social anxiety, because you become overwhelmed by lots of people, noise and incessant chatter. This can then lead to feelings of anxiety, that if not dealt with may lead to social avoidance.
What are the symptoms of social anxiety?
People with social anxiety may experience emotional distress in the following situations:- Being introduced to other people
- Being criticised
- Being the center of attention
- Being watched while doing something
- Meeting ‘important people’
- Most social encounters, especially with strangers
- Going around the room (or table) in a circle and having to say something
- Interpersonal relationships, whether friendships or romantic
Now, this might sound a tad intense, and I agree. Social Anxiety is on a spectrum. Not all introverts suffer debilitating symptoms as outlined above, but I thought I would throw them in there to highlight how social anxiety can become, if not dealt with in a timely manner.
So, how can Mindfulness help overcome Social anxiety?
No matter where you are on the spectrum (and we’re all on there some where), Mindfulness can help you overcome some of the uncomfortable feelings that come with social anxiety.5 Mindfulness Techniques to help overcome social anxiety:
1. Stay present
Mindfulness is all about being in the present. Don’t focus on past experiences that may have been negative, and don’t ruminate on ‘what could happen’.
TWEET THIS!
We often work ourselves up before a social event, thinking about the last time we were there, and you said something to offend someone; or you felt woozy because it was hot and stuffy in the room. That was past. This is a new day and a new event. Equally so, don’t catastophise an event before it happens. If you do this, it may become a self-fulfilling prophesy, and you’ve already set yourself up to fail.
2. Practice Radical Acceptance
This is a term that’s unique to Mindfulness.Radical Acceptance means to accept every thought and feeling without judgment of whether it’s ‘good’, ‘bad’, ‘wrong’ or ‘right’.To practice Radical Acceptance requires us to look at things objectively, without attaching meaning or emotion to it. This takes practice, but can REALLY reduce stress levels and increase your feelings of well-being and comfort in an otherwise uncomfortable situation.
TWEET THIS!
3. Counteract Negative Self-Talk
When negative thoughts pop into your mind, first accept them. If you are still having difficulties with a niggling thought try asking yourself the following questions to help bring you back to the present moment:- What is the evidence for this?
- Is this always true?
- Has this been true in the past?
- What are the odds of this really happening (or being true)?
- What is the very worst that could happen? What is so bad about that? What would you do if the worst happened?
- Are you looking at the whole picture?
- Are you being fully objective?
Here’s an example that use regularly. I went through a stage where I felt extremely anxious before boarding a plane and used to catastophise all sorts of silly things. Now, whilst travelling to the airport, and sitting in the boarding lounge, I repeat over and over again, ‘I love flying’. I actually feel the heavy anxious energy lift off me and a joyfulness replace it. I then go on to enjoy my flight without any unpleasantness.
4. Focus on your breath
Use your breath to bring you back to the present and ground you. Try this exercise:Place your hand on your diaphragm (the area just below your bosom), and feel it expand as you breath in, and retract as you breath out. Breath naturally and normally. Accept all bodily sensations without judgement. Focus on your breath. Relax as you breath out. Count your breaths from 1 – 10, then start all over again.
Focusing on your breath has the ability to calm your central nervous system, lower blood pressure and reduce stress in the body. It’s also used as a distraction technique from unpleasant or uncomfortable feelings. It’s used frequently in Mindfulness Meditation and has so many amazing benefits to your mind, body and spirit.
Focusing on one’s breath plays an integral role in the practice of Mindfulness.
5. Perform a Body Scan
Body Scans are an essential part of Mindfulness. They enable us to focus on each of our body parts without judgement and relax each area. Body Scans can be done with the eyes open or closed, sitting, standing or lying. You could be doing a body scan whilst queueing at the Bank, or whilst sitting in a meeting. No-one can tell you are doing it! It’s a bit like doing the old pelvic floor exercises. It’s an internal process that has lots of benefits
For a great Body Scan Meditation, you can download one HERE.
Take Action Now!
Here’s where I want to hear from you!In the comments section below, answer the following the questions:
- Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
- What techniques do you find helpful when dealing with social situations?
http://sonjakeller.com.au/568/mindfulness-social-anxiety
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